Once we’ve mastered the first three habits, we’re ready to move from the “private victory” to the “public victory.” Self and self-discipline are the foundation of good relationships s others.
We all know what a financial bank account is. If we make de is in it, money will be there for us to withdraw when we need it. The Emotional Bank Account is a metaphor that describes the
amount of trust that’s been built up in a personal relationship. If into an account with you through courtesy, kindness, honesty, and keeping my commitments to you, I build up a
reserve. Your trust for me becomes higher, and I can call on it III need to; I can even make mistakes, and that trust level will compensate for it. Communication is easy, instant, and
But if I have a habit of showing discourtesy, disrespect, cutting you off, overreacting, betraying your trust, or threatening you, my account gets overdrawn. The trust level is low; what
flexibility do I have?
None. I am walking on mine fields. I’m politicking; I have to measure every word. Many organizations and many marriages are like this.
The fourth habit, “Think win/win,” entails making an important deposit in another person’s Emotional Bank Account: finding a way both of you can benefit by your interaction. All the
other possibilities – win/lose (I win, you lose), lose/win (I lose, you win), and lose/lose – are ineffective, either in the short term or the long term.
The best way to approach Win/Win dealing is to remember that it (like all agreements) embodies a caveat: The complete description is “Win/win – or no deal.” Your attitude should
be, “I want to win, and I want you to win, If we can’t hammer something out under those conditions, let’s agree that we won’t make a deal this time. Maybe we’ll make one in the future.”
The president of a computer software company told me of the time he’d signed a five-year contract to supply software to a bank. The bank president was enthusiastic about the deal, but
his people weren’t A month later, the bank changed presidents.
The new president came to the software company president and said, “I am uncomfortable with these software conversions. My people are unhappy, and I have a mess on my hands.”
The computer company was already in financial trouble at the time. It had every legal right to enforce its contract. But the software company president responded: “We have a contract. But
we understand you’re not happy about it. We’ll return your contract and your deposit, and if you’re ever looking for a software solution in the future, come back and see us.” He walked
away from an $84,000 contract. It might look like financial suicide, but he figured he didn’t want to create an unhappy customer, and his attention to principle would pay off somehow.
Three months later, the new president called back. He was ready to put in a new software system. They signed a contract for $240,000. If a deal hurts them, it will hurt you.
Using the paradigm of Win/Win requires three traits:
• Integrity – We define integrity as the value we place on ourselves: We need to be self-aware, possessed of an independent will. We make and keep meaningful promises and
commitments to our selves and others.
• Maturity – This is the balance between courage and consideration. Simply put, you must have enough empathy and goodwill to work for a win for your counterpart, and enough courage to make a win for yourself.
• Abundance Mentality – You must know and believe that there is plenty out there for everybody. Many people don’t: They think that to succeed themselves, others must fail. They harbor secret hopes that other people must suffer misfortune – not terrible misfortune, but acceptable misfortune that Will keep them in their place. The Abundance Mentality recognizes that possibilities for growth and success are potentially limitless, and sees in others the opportunity to complement its own strengths.
Nishan Foundation focuses on providing the most effective, evidence-based treatment, exceeding expectations by paying close attention to four key therapeutic principles